My Dad My Hero

As I wonder the love that I saw in his eyes,

An angel’s love, given without compromise....

I recall many a times that he stood by my side,

And prodded me on with great pride.

His voice ever confident, firm and yet fair,

Always speaking with patience, tenderness and care.

The power and might of his hands was so sure

I knew there was nothing we couldn't endure.

It's true, a few others provided insight,

Yet, he laid the foundation that kept me upright.

To me, he's the grandest of men to have lived on this earth,

Although he's not royal by stature or birth.

I remember the many times he wiped the tears from my face

And felt the strength of his arms, when he held me in his embrace

His discipline seemed harsh at times, and his words may have been strong

But it wasn't because he was cruel, was because I did somethin wrong

The times we shared together, were more than I can recall

To have him the moments I did, was better than not knowing him at all

I had the greatest father, a child could ever have on earth

He has been my hero, guide & closest friend from my birth

He's a man of great dignity, honor and strength.

His merits are noble, and of admirable length.

He's far greater than all other men that I know,

He's my Dad, he's my mentor, my friend and hero

Sometimes I find him too nagging, sometimes sober

Sometimes his silence & patience kills me when I’m in anger

I don’t have the guts to go up to him & tell him how much I love him

But 1 thing’s sure, I so wish I can be the father he was to me, to make life a hymn

I AM A DREAMER!!

There is never a day that goes by without me thinking about how it would be to do absolutely nothing in life, but just sit back and watch each day go by, sipping on a tender coconut, reading a forgotten novel and whiling away the afternoons under a cool banyan tree. I am a dreamer. And I have a mad life.”Mad” in a nice way sometimes and “mad” in a not-so-nice-way sometimes. But all it takes for me to escape this madness is to just shut my eyes, sit back and dream. I have read like a billion quotes till now that keep reiterating the importance of building dreams. But never did it’s importance really occur to me until I actually grew up and tasted life!

     As a kid, I did make my dreams. But life has been kind enough to refuse to fulfill them but in turn gifted me with a reality that is far more pleasant than any dream I could ever come up with. There were confusing phases when nothing made sense, when everything seemed to go the wrong way and I thought I simply had to give up and stop being a dreamer. But eventually, I have come to realize that though not many dreams translated into reality, my ability to dream has more than made up for any loss that reality might have made me feel :)

     I have passed through a phase in life when “dreaming big” was the mantra. Somehow, for me, this “dream big” mantra has a very materialistic ring to it. At least, honestly, when I was a true believer of dreaming big, it was always about a super-successful career, a rich life, full of fun-filled moments, extended overseas holidays, a Jacuzzi in the backyard and a personal indoor spa . I may have been naive in believing that “ big dreams” had to be only about success, name and fame in life, but for me, that’s the connotation of “big dreams” I had as a growing teenager.

      Later in life(that is now), when the life-map has begin to make sense and when all the materialistic dreams are not very far away from being fulfilled( a decade is not very far, I believe :) ), I am at crossroads. With a little planning and smart execution of plans, I can get all I want. But no, just when I have everything at hand’s reach, I want to go back and grab all those times when I wished I would be what I am today. As a kid, I could not wait to grow up! And now, as a grown up, I want to go back and be the kid that I was! Why would I want to do that? One reason of course, is the clichéd attraction for childhood memories. Life has it’s way of making the past look more cheerful than it actually was. So yes, maybe that is why I would want to go back. But no, there is more to it than just that. It is the rare gift that only children possess. The gift to dream endlessly. The gift to dream fearlessly.

       For a child, everything is possible. Right from morphing into Batman to sprouting wings when you wake up in the morning, every fantasy is a possibility. Even the wildest of dreams of a child, have a ring of reality and a hope of possibility attached to it. But for an adult, the innocence is gone. Having seen life and it’s various turns, every dream is plagued by the unavoidable evaluation of pros and cons. The urge to be realistically fantasized is really strong. You are aware of the hurdles, the hardships, the turmoil, the testing times and the absolute surrender to the fact that “maybe” this dream will never come true. The “fearless” quality of dreams is gone! And the urge to be real rules over everything else..

Just another thought-- silent dreamer

I’m not your emotional support;
You can barely stand to be mine.
You respond to my tears like a traffic cop:
Look straight ahead, give yes or no answers, and try to avoid incriminating yourself.

I’m not your partner.
You don’t want me to do anything for you.
I can do anything, be anything, if you’ll support me…
As long as what I want to be, doesn’t require your attention.
You say you don’t want me to change to please you…
Sometimes I wonder if you can be ever be pleased.

I’m not your passion.
Kisses disgust you, hugs are elusive.
Snuggles make you struggle.
The days when you want me are losing ground;
The days when you don’t are still gaining.
I don’t like this war of attrition.

I used to think you pushed my boundaries to see if I would let you.
Now I think you push my boundaries to be sure I’m staying out of your space.

I come to you for reassurance,
What I get is just avoidance.
Where went our sweet resonance?
All I see now is fading romance.

You never said “I love you,” much,
You always just implied it.
It didn’t used to eat me much
Because I always seemed to feel it.

Now? I stare, imploring.
Now? You sit, ignoring.

I try to chat and you complain.
I try to stay in touch, I’m shooed away.

Loving you, I have no choice,
Over and over I lay my heart on the line.
I beg until I’ve lost my voice;
If this keeps up I’ll lose my mind.

You say that you don’t have a clue
Just what it is I want from you.
What I want is what I said;
A kiss, a hug or two.

I still believe you love me.
At the least, I do still try.
Some days I still can feel it…
Other days I just cry.

DAILY REQUISITES IN UR RELATION

We all have needs.

Our bodies have needs. That is not what I would want to discuss here. :) That’s a completely different topic.

We also have other needs.

Emotional needs.

And these emotional needs must also be fulfilled each day if we are to maintain our emotional health.

We often go into relationships hoping that our new honey will satisfy those needs. Many of us actually won’t know what we need from the other person, but tend to realize it in course of time.  What we later discover is that we are ultimately responsible for pursuing our own emotional needs. It’s just nice if we can share that pursuit with someone special.

Nevertheless, there are 18 minimum daily requirements for your emotional health, that I consider non-negotiable for maintaining a solid relationship with your partner – or with anyone else for that matter.

The 18 are:

• Good will from your partner.
• Emotional support from your partner. A feel that you are their main priority.
• Be heard by your partner and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
• Have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
• Have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
• Receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
• Clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
• Freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
• Freedom from criticism and judgment.
• Have your work and your interests respected.
• Receive encouragement.
• Freedom from emotional and physical threat.
• Freedom from angry outburst and rage.
• Freedom from labels which devalue you.
• Be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
• Have your final decisions accepted.

• Space from previous affairs & relations. Not every person can take memories positively
• Privacy at times.

When a relationship lacks one or a few of these minimum daily emotional requirements, problems erupt.  The more that are missing, the bigger the eruption.

Is this all you need?  Well, personally, I want much more.  I want intimacy, closeness, passion, fun, excitement, fantasy, imagination, discovery, and more.

Everyone will probably have your own list of relationship wants.

Still, if these 18 minimum daily emotional requirements are not being met in your relationship, perhaps you need to look for the rest of your wants somewhere else.

Disclaimer: I’m blotting down things that I feel are right. :) Hope to help someone with this.