Dating 2.0

     Every now and then, when I am bored, I scan wall posts of some of my Facebook friends. It can be a pretty good gage of what people are doing for fun in your town. People also tend to throw their personal lives out there on Facebook more than they ever would in the real world. The other day I came across an update that one of my friend was committed, when I knew he'd broken up with his girlfriend just a week back. It was shocking as I met him only a week back for a movie with some common friends & he never mentioned anything even then!! Eventually I found out, that he was dating a gal from our own group. How could it have happened??

Evidently there is this new pick up line that guys are using. It goes like this:

Guy: Hey, so i would like to see you again.

Gal: Yeah you want my number!!

Guy: Well do you have facebook? i can find you on there??

Gal: Hahaha.. Yeah! but that was the worst pick up line!!

& the girl walks away!! It really is sad what the world is coming into!!

But, shockingly, the two got along really well & started dating in a week from then!! I mean, WTF!!

Doesn’t that pretty much sum up Generation Y dating? For a lot of my dating life, there were not even cell phones so you had to ask for a home number taking the risk of noisy parents, brothers and sisters answering the phone. You had to be on your game from minute one. How in the world did our parents get by? Isn’t it amazing we are even here? God forbid we should actually have to look someone in the eye

Now we are not even asking for phone number. We are asking for email addresses, Facebook and MySpace pages etc. I would bet that within the 20-45 crowd there are almost as many relationships started and ended by text or email than by an actual phone call or god forbid you have the guts to actually meet someone in person and talk about a future or lack thereof:.

In our school& college days, if you met a girl in a bar and she thought you were a total geekoid loser, the phone number she gave you was actually the phone number to Blockbuster Video. (I rented a lot of movies:..) For Generation Y, you got one of those numbers you can buy that gives the person a message telling them you got the number because you are a loser and to leave the person alone like on Seinfeld. There are services such as The Rejection Hotline who has pre-recorded “rejection phone numbers to cover just about any scenario.

Today, your blowoff is a girl giving you an address to her Facebook or MySpace page entitled:

“SALLIE”S MYSPACE PAGE DEDICATED TO TOTAL LOSER GEEKS SHE MET IN A BAR ”

When are we going to start seeing “wiki” personals and social networking sites where everyone who knows you basically creates your profile.  Would you have the guts to turn yor social page into a “wiki” and let the masses colloborate on what your page should say?  A social wikipieda not geared at the facts of your life but at who you really are:..

We have gone from Dear John Letters to Dear John Phone Number to Dear John Texts to Dear John social networking pages.

I am definitely not naming my kid John. The odds are against him meeting someone right off the bat.

Welcome to dating in the Web 2.0 world::

A weekend to remember

This past weekend, I went to visit an old family friend who has terminal cancer  .His name is Rajesh. And his wife's name is Mangala, mostly Uncle & Aunty to us. I have known them from 8-9 years for now, & they have remained just the same from the day I met them in my friend’s Birthday Party. They own a beautiful guest house on acres and acres of land. They create everything from this land- fresh veggies for dinner, freshly squeezed juice & designed potteries.

   I have special memories of my own there. I remember the first time I visited the place and it was so serene and beautiful. Uncle and Aunty were so charismatic, magical, and loving. Sometimes I believed that when I left the house, Aunty and Uncle would disappear because they were actually not human but instead angels, inviting me there to better my life in some way.

     It has been 3 years since I faithfully visited their place, but I have always kept in contact with Uncle & Aunty. Mainly because the last reason I visited, I hugged them and told them they were like my third set of parents. That feeling has stuck with me and never left.

     Aunty sent me a pretty desperate sounding email a few weeks ago, and it sounded like she was battling a lot of emotional stress.

     I knew then that Uncle was dying, and I had to go see him before it was too late. So this last weekend, I went to their place all by myself to see Uncle & Aunty. I helped Aunty with things she needed around the house, like cutting some vegetables & peeling the skin of some fruits for fresh juice in the morning. I put sheets on my own bed. I woke up early on a Saturday morning and had been to the Street farmer’s market down their lane, to buy Uncle & Aunty a new plant, which they could add to their beautiful yard.

     Everything had changed. There was silence in the courtyard. No more hearty laughs, no more smiles. The patio we used to sit on outside to eat breakfast together, was dusty and dark. The patio furniture was covered in plastic. All I could see were some workers in the yard, cleaning up the pots & plucking the flowers. Even they didn’t seem that happy with the fate that their landlords were facing. There were no heart shaped french toast pieces for breakfast, no hot soups for breakfast. I couldn’t lay my eyes on these the previous night as it was dark, but now, I had a question to myself. Is this the same place I’ve seen before?? I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, & before I could realize what I had to do,  I found myself helping Aunty cut some fruits for fresh juice in the morning. Such a small thing was such a huge help to her.

       Uncle was so tired, his eyes would shut in the middle of a conversation. While the words escaped his mouth, his eyelids were closed. I felt him slipping away, and like a part of him was already in another place.The hard thing to face is that he told me he wasn't ready yet, he still had a lot more he wanted to do here.

       Aunty revealed her worries to me over moonlight & a cup of chai in the room off the kitchen. She tried to lay out her life to me and the plans she had for it after he was gone. Her eyes were dry with no tears because she said she had already done most of her grieving. Although sometimes the grief shocked her all at once with no warning. Every once in a while she'd ask me, "Do you think Uncle can hear me? I hope not." And she'd look off in the direction of his bedroom.

       I have known people who have passed from cancer. I even remember the night my mom called me when I was at work, & told me that grandma had cancer. That was probably the biggest shock I have had till this day. The day she passed, I remember having a feeling that a weird light that resembled a disco ball on the ceiling of my room and I swear it was her saying good-bye. I had tears in my eyes, & that was the worst stage I would expect me to be in. It took me 1 whole year to get my senses back in control & even to this day, I still cant imagine I could get over that. I still keep hearing it from my parents, that my grandma was up in Heaven now, smiling down at us. Its always a pleasure to know that she’s still with us.

       What I have never experienced is what it is like to actually watch someone pass away from cancer. Someone that you have experienced sweetness and the energy of life with. Uncle was always passionate about life, always wanting to move on to the next thing. Uncle loved his life out in the "Enchanted Valley" and had more plans of farming, harvesting, and enjoying the land.

         But here he was, lying in a recliner. Shadows that couldn't be erased were cast over the bones on his face.....And the only thing I could do to show him love is to touch his elbow. Or make sure I gave him a huge hug the moment I saw him. To show him that I wasn't afraid of him, or afraid of the cancer that was killing his body. I wanted to show him my love through it all. I wanted to get the smile back on his face.

         I hope my visit with Uncle brought him some light. Or something. Even if my visit was only for two days. I know it brought me something. A chance to give my love to Uncle & Aunty. An opportunity to visit the authentic amanda who is very soft, tender-hearted, and warm.

          A few times while I was there I felt sick, and had trouble sleeping. The air was so thick with life, death, sickness, bitter sweet love, and change. I found myself waking up in a sweat with a stomach ache, all alone in the big fluffy bed. I couldn't help but wonder if I was feeling some of Uncle's pain at that moment. All I can do now is pray that Uncle is comforted through this time, that he finds peace in letting go. That this life here isn't all we have, and he probably has an even better in his future. I left him a nice note in his place, as there were some things my words couldn’t express. I told him it was very "enchanting" to meet him. I hope he read it, and knows that it is true.♥