I AM A DREAMER!!

There is never a day that goes by without me thinking about how it would be to do absolutely nothing in life, but just sit back and watch each day go by, sipping on a tender coconut, reading a forgotten novel and whiling away the afternoons under a cool banyan tree. I am a dreamer. And I have a mad life.”Mad” in a nice way sometimes and “mad” in a not-so-nice-way sometimes. But all it takes for me to escape this madness is to just shut my eyes, sit back and dream. I have read like a billion quotes till now that keep reiterating the importance of building dreams. But never did it’s importance really occur to me until I actually grew up and tasted life!

     As a kid, I did make my dreams. But life has been kind enough to refuse to fulfill them but in turn gifted me with a reality that is far more pleasant than any dream I could ever come up with. There were confusing phases when nothing made sense, when everything seemed to go the wrong way and I thought I simply had to give up and stop being a dreamer. But eventually, I have come to realize that though not many dreams translated into reality, my ability to dream has more than made up for any loss that reality might have made me feel :)

     I have passed through a phase in life when “dreaming big” was the mantra. Somehow, for me, this “dream big” mantra has a very materialistic ring to it. At least, honestly, when I was a true believer of dreaming big, it was always about a super-successful career, a rich life, full of fun-filled moments, extended overseas holidays, a Jacuzzi in the backyard and a personal indoor spa . I may have been naive in believing that “ big dreams” had to be only about success, name and fame in life, but for me, that’s the connotation of “big dreams” I had as a growing teenager.

      Later in life(that is now), when the life-map has begin to make sense and when all the materialistic dreams are not very far away from being fulfilled( a decade is not very far, I believe :) ), I am at crossroads. With a little planning and smart execution of plans, I can get all I want. But no, just when I have everything at hand’s reach, I want to go back and grab all those times when I wished I would be what I am today. As a kid, I could not wait to grow up! And now, as a grown up, I want to go back and be the kid that I was! Why would I want to do that? One reason of course, is the clichéd attraction for childhood memories. Life has it’s way of making the past look more cheerful than it actually was. So yes, maybe that is why I would want to go back. But no, there is more to it than just that. It is the rare gift that only children possess. The gift to dream endlessly. The gift to dream fearlessly.

       For a child, everything is possible. Right from morphing into Batman to sprouting wings when you wake up in the morning, every fantasy is a possibility. Even the wildest of dreams of a child, have a ring of reality and a hope of possibility attached to it. But for an adult, the innocence is gone. Having seen life and it’s various turns, every dream is plagued by the unavoidable evaluation of pros and cons. The urge to be realistically fantasized is really strong. You are aware of the hurdles, the hardships, the turmoil, the testing times and the absolute surrender to the fact that “maybe” this dream will never come true. The “fearless” quality of dreams is gone! And the urge to be real rules over everything else..

Just another thought-- silent dreamer

I’m not your emotional support;
You can barely stand to be mine.
You respond to my tears like a traffic cop:
Look straight ahead, give yes or no answers, and try to avoid incriminating yourself.

I’m not your partner.
You don’t want me to do anything for you.
I can do anything, be anything, if you’ll support me…
As long as what I want to be, doesn’t require your attention.
You say you don’t want me to change to please you…
Sometimes I wonder if you can be ever be pleased.

I’m not your passion.
Kisses disgust you, hugs are elusive.
Snuggles make you struggle.
The days when you want me are losing ground;
The days when you don’t are still gaining.
I don’t like this war of attrition.

I used to think you pushed my boundaries to see if I would let you.
Now I think you push my boundaries to be sure I’m staying out of your space.

I come to you for reassurance,
What I get is just avoidance.
Where went our sweet resonance?
All I see now is fading romance.

You never said “I love you,” much,
You always just implied it.
It didn’t used to eat me much
Because I always seemed to feel it.

Now? I stare, imploring.
Now? You sit, ignoring.

I try to chat and you complain.
I try to stay in touch, I’m shooed away.

Loving you, I have no choice,
Over and over I lay my heart on the line.
I beg until I’ve lost my voice;
If this keeps up I’ll lose my mind.

You say that you don’t have a clue
Just what it is I want from you.
What I want is what I said;
A kiss, a hug or two.

I still believe you love me.
At the least, I do still try.
Some days I still can feel it…
Other days I just cry.

DAILY REQUISITES IN UR RELATION

We all have needs.

Our bodies have needs. That is not what I would want to discuss here. :) That’s a completely different topic.

We also have other needs.

Emotional needs.

And these emotional needs must also be fulfilled each day if we are to maintain our emotional health.

We often go into relationships hoping that our new honey will satisfy those needs. Many of us actually won’t know what we need from the other person, but tend to realize it in course of time.  What we later discover is that we are ultimately responsible for pursuing our own emotional needs. It’s just nice if we can share that pursuit with someone special.

Nevertheless, there are 18 minimum daily requirements for your emotional health, that I consider non-negotiable for maintaining a solid relationship with your partner – or with anyone else for that matter.

The 18 are:

• Good will from your partner.
• Emotional support from your partner. A feel that you are their main priority.
• Be heard by your partner and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
• Have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
• Have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
• Receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
• Clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
• Freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
• Freedom from criticism and judgment.
• Have your work and your interests respected.
• Receive encouragement.
• Freedom from emotional and physical threat.
• Freedom from angry outburst and rage.
• Freedom from labels which devalue you.
• Be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
• Have your final decisions accepted.

• Space from previous affairs & relations. Not every person can take memories positively
• Privacy at times.

When a relationship lacks one or a few of these minimum daily emotional requirements, problems erupt.  The more that are missing, the bigger the eruption.

Is this all you need?  Well, personally, I want much more.  I want intimacy, closeness, passion, fun, excitement, fantasy, imagination, discovery, and more.

Everyone will probably have your own list of relationship wants.

Still, if these 18 minimum daily emotional requirements are not being met in your relationship, perhaps you need to look for the rest of your wants somewhere else.

Disclaimer: I’m blotting down things that I feel are right. :) Hope to help someone with this.

TOOTH ACHE

I lay in bed, I thought I was dead
But for the pain, I can't explain
The pounding dread, within my head
Why won't it wane, cries out my brain.

Broken filling, dental drilling
curse the bane, of toothache pain
I'd be killing, if God's willing
To cease refrain, of my molar pain.

I cry aloud, I am not proud
Down on my knees, Oh God help me please
To God I vowed, if he allowed
Relief to ease, the pain appease

I hear my peer, say to stop what he was to hear
Quit whining dear, or I do fear
I'll get a knife, to end your life
To me was clear, the end was near.

Break up Tips for the gals

So, you've been through a bad break-up, huh? Well, consider yourself one of many. And now, you want to get back into the dating game without all of the post break-up drama? Well, sit back, read this article, and take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

1. Go into this new relationship cautiously and smartly. Take things very slowly, and don't let this new guy toy with you. Learn about all of guys' tricks. Don't be so gullible and believe him if he tells you he loves you- especially if it's very soon in the relationship that he tells you that he does. Do not, not, NOT let him take advantage of you. You're smarter than that, girl, and you know what signs to look for when it comes to being used and taken advantage of. Protect yourself, and don't be too trusting.

2. Don't go too fast. This is pretty much like number one. Don't make out with this boy the first time you guys hang out with each other. Wait until the time feels right; you will know. What's the fun of a relationship if you do everything right away? Then, there's nothing left to look forward too and get butterflies over, you know? Don't rush into things, and wait a while before sucking face-even if it kills you.

3. Do not believe the "I love you". That is the biggest tactic a boy uses on girls that makes girls feel weak in the knees and vulnerable. In some cases, that isn't true. Sometimes, you will actually find a good guy out there, who really means it when he says he loves you. But on most accounts, it's all part of the boys game. You can ask around if you don't believe me. And whatever happens, don't tell him you love him back UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT YOU DO! You've probably been there and done that before with the ex, remember? Girls don't want to have to go through that again.

4. Don't fall too hard again. Don't let this guy make you fall for him like you did for your ex-boyfriend. Know better and have some strength and self respect. Learn from the past. You can always take some good out of the bad.

5. Don't take compliments too personally. Boys love to offer girls compliments. It automatically gives them a one-way ticket to her heart. Girls love compliments, and they aren't a bad thing, but they can be annoying and they can be bad if they are over-used. Don't take them all to heart.

6. Don't let nerves take over you. Don't let this boy make you nervous! But if he does, try not to let it show that he makes you weak in the knees. I know that boys do that to girls because girls're only human, but they don't need to have the satisfaction of knowing that. If you can, try to make HIM sweat. Make that boy whipped. Whip him like Whipped Cream!

Tips

• Stay strong and stay true to yourself at all times.
• Don't let yourself get taken advantage of.
• Try not to turn all mushy and soft if you can help it, unless that's really what you want.
• Don't let your new relationship turn into a text message or an online relationship. Make sure this boy calls you and that you guys hang out! You deserve at least that much.

Warnings

• Don't be to dominant and push him away. That could end up in bad results, especially if you really like this boy.