Just another thought-- silent dreamer

I’m not your emotional support;
You can barely stand to be mine.
You respond to my tears like a traffic cop:
Look straight ahead, give yes or no answers, and try to avoid incriminating yourself.

I’m not your partner.
You don’t want me to do anything for you.
I can do anything, be anything, if you’ll support me…
As long as what I want to be, doesn’t require your attention.
You say you don’t want me to change to please you…
Sometimes I wonder if you can be ever be pleased.

I’m not your passion.
Kisses disgust you, hugs are elusive.
Snuggles make you struggle.
The days when you want me are losing ground;
The days when you don’t are still gaining.
I don’t like this war of attrition.

I used to think you pushed my boundaries to see if I would let you.
Now I think you push my boundaries to be sure I’m staying out of your space.

I come to you for reassurance,
What I get is just avoidance.
Where went our sweet resonance?
All I see now is fading romance.

You never said “I love you,” much,
You always just implied it.
It didn’t used to eat me much
Because I always seemed to feel it.

Now? I stare, imploring.
Now? You sit, ignoring.

I try to chat and you complain.
I try to stay in touch, I’m shooed away.

Loving you, I have no choice,
Over and over I lay my heart on the line.
I beg until I’ve lost my voice;
If this keeps up I’ll lose my mind.

You say that you don’t have a clue
Just what it is I want from you.
What I want is what I said;
A kiss, a hug or two.

I still believe you love me.
At the least, I do still try.
Some days I still can feel it…
Other days I just cry.